How could I become less and less liked as a person if supposedly I was very well-liked when a classical musician and I stopped being a classical musician against my will, made to be in order to do something where people supposedly often seem to “deserve” in some way to be even more easily well-liked in the social world, being an aspiring film actor and model?

It seems that other musicians feel above me, moreso some than others of course.  This hurts so bad, but I don’t feel it too much.  Why was I almost forced out of classical music, only to come back to it?  I was “young and impressionable” and didn’t “know what I was getting into.”

What about my psychotic medicine for being withdrawn and aggressive when provoked over and over?…  Will I ever feel?  What happened to the world?  Do they feel?  I can’t tell.


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